New Year's Eve Nerd Alert!

Before concentrating too hard on ringing in 2009 this evening, I plan to take advantage of 2008's leap second to follow the instructions of Space.com's Robert Roy Britt (ha ha - his name is Rob Roy) to find me some planets!

Parts of Speech

Why is it that "drunk" is both an adjective and a noun, but "sick" is not? Because it would be convenient to tell my biographer, "My husband was a good man, but he could be a mean and whiny sick."

Christmas Eve Tomatoes

Homegrown - outside - December - Houston

Anytime the Moment Is Right

Overheard at the Walgreen's pharmacy drive thru:

"Yes, my name is Don [last name]. I need to pick up a prescription refill for Cialis."

Note, Cialis is not for everyone (ask your doctor if you're healthy enough for sex), but if you also drive a pickup truck it may give you the added self-condifence you need to shamelessly proclaim your ED to the pharmacist, the young woman in the drive thru stall next to you, and pretty much everyone in the Walgreen's and Central Bank parking lots.

w00t!

Restaurant Review: Cedar Creek

This afternoon we decided to lunch at the newest restau/bar offering from the owners of Onion Creek and Dry Creek - Cedar Creek. Currently it is undergoing a "soft opening," so there will likely be an evolution.

The parking is fabulous compared to the other two of the Creek cafes, as are the deck space and overall seating capacity. The beer selection is almost identical to that of Onion Creek - lots of good draft options, including microbrews. The decor was what delighted me though. The tables and chairs must have been from a warehouse storing tables and chairs from now-defunct restaurants and VFW halls and Masons' lodges from the 70s. My favorite table was the one from Monterey House mexican restaurants (closed in the mid-1980s after being purchased by ShowBiz Pizza Place, though there is apparently still one left in Beaumont.) The table was a brown plastic laminate four top with red rectangles bearing the Monterey House logo at each corner, making a set of perma-placemats for its diners. Awesome.

Monterey House, along with Ninfa's on Navigation, was the Tex-Mex restaurant of my early childhood. Reportedly at two years old I would order my own dinner ("Tacos al Carbon, please!") at Ninfa's. So the other decorating treasure, spotted on Cedar Creek's walls, was the giant portrait of Mama Ninfa Laurenzo that beamed down at me while I ate. Sadly, the food there is a far cry from even the franchisified Ninfa's fare.

We should stop ordering jalapeno poppers at restaurants. All jalapeno poppers come from the same place - Sysco - and they are always served too hot-out-of-the-fryer. They never taste good. We need to stop setting ourselves up for hot pepper disappointment.

I ordered the pulled pork sandwich. The meat was fine. The sauce was fine. The bread was nasty. I think bread either needs to be Sunbeam/Wonderbread super-processed or else really lovingly hand-kneading and baked. When restaurants try for something in between, it pretty much always tastes like cardboard.

We usually don't complain about the service at restaurants, but the busboy was bringing the second round of drinks. Like I said - I'm hoping for better things as the opening, um, hardens.

FreeCell

I just played a couple of games of FreeCell for old times' sake. Wow. I can't believe that actually used to be more interesting than doing my job.

The Immaculate Conception: A Primer I Thought I Didn't Really Need

Some very wise Catholic friends of mine this evening instructed me that while I, as a pagan (Protestant) misunderstood the Immaculate Conception to have to do with Christ's conception (my DH muttered something about Terry Bradshaw and Franco Harris and, I'm sure, being struck by lightning), the actual event had to do with St. Anne's conception of the Virgin Mary and the Virgin's living without Original Sin. Despite considering myself a very well-instructed Christian, I must admit, in the words of Johnny Carson, that I did not know that.

Litter Kwitter

We have decided to embark on a litter-free house experiment with the help of the Litter Kwitter cat toilet training system. It even comes with a Multi Kat Kit in case one of your cats isn't quite as adaptable as the other. I am certain our cats fit that description.

Mega Disappointed

08-11-13-45-50 MB 22 did not win $116.9 M on Tuesday night.

Graph Jam Funny

Tools in Space

I enjoyed this post on chron.com about a potentially visible IFO (identified flying object?) in tonight's sky.

Tis the Season

Should there be any "unfortunate accidents" at our house this winter, be sure someone investigates the cats.

You Know You're Unemployed When...

...your Junk Mail folder fascinates you.

I keep getting an email with the subject "Cheating House Wife." I'm too chicken to open it to find out if it's from one or suggesting that I am one.

Also, Michael Vincent has "Found [me] a New Job" every day for the last three months. I think maybe he knew I was getting laid off before I did.

Does This Box Make Me Look Fat?

New Favorite T-Shirt Slogan

"Guns don't kill people. People from Texas kill people."

What Is a Travesty?

My local CBS affiliate has decided to replace this:

(Awesome!)

With this:

(You have GOT to be kidding me.)

Thank You, Captain Obvious

U.S. Recession Now Official

Spammers, Not Grammars

The one of the many adware modules on the Facebook Home page just returned an ad banner challenging me to an IQ quiz because, "Someone thinks your dumb." :|

Thank You for Your Application

Thank you for submitting your application to serve in the Obama-Biden Administration. As you can imagine, we are receiving thousands of applications during the transition process. We will initially be focused on the most senior positions in the Administration. If you do not hear from us for several weeks or months, please do not think we have lost your information. You may update your application at any time by clicking on the link below and using the email address you entered on your application as your login. We will receive and record the changes you make.

Thank you again for your interest.

http://www.change.gov/jobs/apply/

Sincerely,

The Obama-Biden Transition Project

Please note that replies to this email will not be answered.

Happy Thanksgiving

By: Blog Author, Age 34

Juicy Wish List

Velour track suits are stupid. $250 velour track suits are criminal. This girl's exposed midriff, gapped teeth, and breast-first posture irritate me. The name Juicy is gross. "Roll over" is a command you give a dog. Yahoo needs to quit showing me this ad.

Tips & FAQs

A tip from our friends at The Flying Saucer Pie Company:
"Pie is ready when your kitchen smells like pie."

Squeezed Dry

For Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow at my brother-in-law's I am responsible for bringing an appetizer (and my husband and his mother.) I am making your basic chile con queso at DH's request, "for making turkey sandwiches after the Lions' game," but also decided to branch out into the vegetable-like realm, tackling Houston's Spinach and Artichoke Dip.

I severely underestimated the creepiness factor of squeezing chopped spinach dry. First of all, I fear the cheesecloth, which is surprising given my infatuation with all things cheese, including Chuck E. It just seems so medical, like I should be wrapping it around a Civil War infantryman's head wound or "making bandages" with Scarlett, Melanie, and India rather than cooking with it.

Anyway, my next tip for you aspiring spinach squeezers is to let the thawed spinach cool a little from the microwaving before you undertake the squeezing. That's probably obvious to everyone besides me, but I'm not a patient cook. Spinach steam burns are serious.

So with the cooled, cheesecloth-encapsulated mound of spinach in my hands, I was ready to start squeezing. Green juice is yucky, empirically, but even more so since I saw Flash Gordon and Ming the Merciless's green blood. Well, that's what comes out of spinach when you squeeze it. Slowly the spinach takes on an unsettling, dough-like feel. Spinach, in any form, should never "thud" when dropped into a bowl.

Fistful of Mullet

We just got done watching the superior documentary, The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. The film follows the quest of easygoing science teacher Steve Wiebe to break monumental douche bag Billy Mitchell's Donkey Kong world record. Nobody likes Billy Mitchell.Nobody likes this guy either.

Lesson Learned

I had the pleasure of babysitting my cousin's 4-year-old boy today. We had an awesome time playing baseball, tasting every edible plant in my garden, watching The Incredibles, and making the cats go in circles with the laser dot. After a lunch of, well, soda and chips (I'm not perfect) we headed to the park to hit some serious play equipment. Not being a super-experienced playground goer in recent years, I wore the Crocs I'd had on for gardening. Funny thing - the holes that make the foam sandals so comfy and breathable in the yard make them HELL in the pea-gravel playground pit. It's hard to chase a four-year-old with rocks in your shoes. Just FYI.

New Favorite Beverage

Not recommended for phenylketonurics.

Happy Bunny

When I wear this T-shirt, it's probably about you.

My New Office

Not too bad, actually.

This Lifeboat's Getting Crowded

So apparently 542,000 people joined me in filing for unemployment last week, meaning of course that there is greater demand for the handful of jobs available. Hedging my bets, and because I have to apply to three jobs a week to keep receiving my government cheese, I've decided to express interest in an Obama administration job (there are, like, 7,000 of them.) Will let you know how it goes...

Roomba Cat

What I Accomplished Today

Doesn't Always Play Well With Others

I've had this T-shirt for about four years now. The first time I wore it in front of my mother, she said "It would be a lot cuter and funnier if it weren't true." I can't help it if I know the right way to do things.

Now that I am liberated from the bonds of "The Man" I feel even happier when I put it on, as I am once again in charge of myself. I am wearing this shirt today, with a big grin on my face and my feet up on the desk.

Doesn't Make Me an Aggie, Does It?

My bookclub discussed Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle this evening. I'm about 1/4 of the way through it. To attone for this transgression (though I was not the only one) I planned to bring a salad to share with my clubmates, many of whom I hadn't seen in almost two years, since that was the last time I went because Sunday softball frequently interfered, as did my lack of book reading. For no particular reason, the club tries to tie the dinner menu to some theme in the book, and since this book is about food and actually has recipes it wasn't too big of a stretch. The book is essentially a journal of the year the author and her family spent trying to live "deliberately" (an abverb stolen from Thoreau but appropriately so) and in harmony with the natural food cycles of their Virigina farming community. So I decided to try to get all the ingredients from my made-up salad locally. Predictably, I decided this about two hours before the book club meeting, so my sources were limited... my backyard and the HEB Pantry. I actually had decent success.

For the lettuce I was able to harvest some of the surprisingly robust romaine and basil crops in my garden. The tomatoes are still green, and the snails got my broccoli, so that was all I could muster, but I felt quite smug and show-offish. I also put together an herb bouquet (again, mostly to show off) of oregano, cilantro, sage, rosemary, thyme, and mint.

Off to the HEB, I had no idea what else would follow "the rules" of trying to put together a seasonally and locally available salad. It was surprisingly easy - it's Texas citrus season, and the HEB was lousy with tangerines, grapefruits, and oranges. The Rio Star small grapefruits were so fabulous, in fact, that my husband gnawed the sweet leftovers off the rind once I'd cubed the fruit for my salad. I did have one small knife accident (I get a little rambunctious with the blade sometimes) and can confirm that citrus juice in an open wound is not cool. So I had the vegetable and the fruit covered for the sald - now I just needed a little protein to kick things up. Again, the HEB delivered - walnuts from San Antonio and queso fresco from right here in Houston. (Side note on the queso fresco - always buy the kind made with pasteurized milk because apparently there are a lot of, um, issues my research doctor friends see with the truly fresco varieties.) I tossed it all with olive oil (the only thing not local) and voila!

Roll Bounce

I went roller skating on a Saturday night. Friends of mine decided to have a joint birthday party (35th birthday party) at the Dairy Ashford Roller Rink. We were wisely advised to stretch beforehand. When you sign in, there is a column for "Guests" and a separate column for "Adult Skaters." I had an AWESOME time. Turns out, after a few shaky laps around the rink (much smaller now, of course, than in my memories) it's fairly easy to remember how to roller skate, and it's really pretty fun if you can dodge the 5 and 6 year olds wiping out all around you and also manage to enter and exit the rink - a precarious transition that is both a 5-inch step and change in floor coverings from carpet to hardwood - without landing on your grown up duff. Seriously, I know exactly where they need to put a grab bar for old folks. Stopping is also a skill I have yet to recover from my childhood memory banks...

There was a really creepy 30-something dude skating all by himself. Based on his being a similar age and the law of averages, people probably assumed he was with our party, but he was not. Also, he wasn't really skating - what he was doing was more like skate dancing, and it involved making bizarre and spastic movements in the same spot on the floor, not rolling with the oval flow of skate traffic like the rest of the skate guests. He was really bad at whatever trend he was trying to start, literally doing The Robot with his upper body while pointing and flexing his be-skated feet. None of it was in time to the music. At one point he tried to do a butt spin. I am confident he was violating his parole by being within 150 feet of an unaccompanied minor.

After we had cake and ice cream (delicious strawberry cake and cute little individual ice cream cups) I was the first among our group to venture back out onto the rink. Now I was the only creepy adult skating alone in a sea of children preteens, but I was initially oblivious to that fact, my hair whooshing satisfyingly as I made left turns, thinking about how with each lap I was surely burning at least the calories in a spoonful of Blue Bell. Then suddenly I heard someone behind me say my name, the "is that you?" lilt in her voice. I turned around to spot a former coworker rolling up behind me. "What are you doing here?" I looked frantically around for ANYONE in my party, but, nope, there I was, with no good excuse in sight. Redfaced, I stammered that I was here for a friend's party and motioned to the group of adults at the opposite side of the rink, none of whom were even looking back at the rink. At last, I regained my senses and retorted, "Hey, what are you doing here?" And we were able to share a laugh at the fact that we were simultaneously retro-hipster and huge goofballs for being childless adults at a skating rink on a Saturday night.

For the next outing my friends and I are planning matching T-shirts or possibly hooded sweaters as well as a fully choreographed line dance routine to Young MC's Bust a Move. You should plan to be there.

Inside Joke

Fully Loaded Box? Seriously.

A dinner value whose name is surpassed in the inappropriateness category only by Popeyes Chicken's Big Easy Box of the 1990s.

Top Hunk!

It has been suggested that this guy (Hosea from Top Chef) looks like my husband. I can maybe see it, though this guy has less hair.

Apparently he also sports some specs similar to my DH's pre-lasik era goggles. ($10 to the reader who can deliver a pic of Hosea in said glasses.)

Discuss.

Reason #43 to Love Central Market

Their express check out line is, correctly, for 10 Items or Fewer. Thank you, elitist grocer, for bringing me white asparagus, purple potatoes, and a superb command of the English language.

Amy Carter's Cat Had a Weird Name

Misty Malarky Ying Yang

Funny

Click here for the source.

Veteran's Day

Thanks to all veterans -- especially to veterans of foreign wars. You guys rock.

Remembered

I went to San Antonio with my mom for the day today. We remembered the Alamo and had lunch on the Riverwalk.

Then we went into a tile showroom by the airport. The owner had decided to close it until January because a) this is the slow season for tile and b) his salesman was lousy so he fired him. But somehow my mom had developed a relationship with this guy during one visit to the showroom with my dad and subsequent emailing, so he told her to stop by and his neighbors would let us in. So we did and spent about three hours playing with tile for the Canada bathrooms in a deserted tile warehouse out by the airport...

Next we visited some old friends who were our neigbors and carpool-mates back in the 80s in Houston. We had fun reminiscing about Brownies and ROB and about raising chickens in their back yard in West University. Good times!

On our way back home, we stopped in Seguin at Bill Miller Bar-B-Q. Try it - you'll like it! Incredible fact: there are 68 Bill Miller Bar-B-Q stores in San Antonio, Austin and Chorpus. That is an astounding BM BBQ per capita ratio. Also of note: their menu offers a price for one chopped beef sandwich ($1.49) and for six ($7.99.) These are not small sandwiches, and I can't imagine eating a half dozen, but I must confess to having been tempted by the novelty of placing the order.

Grammar Girl

The whole "an historic" thing has worked my pants into a wad. Frustratingly, it seems the more often an incorrect phrase is repeated, the more it becomes acceptable. And so, like the comma between the last and penultimate word in a list ("red, white, and blue" or "red, white and blue") sources are beginning to say both "an historic" and "a historic" are correct -- it's up to you!

Not one to suffer grammatical ambiguity gladly, I hereby cast my vote for "a historic" for you if you're reading this blog, because if you're reading this blog you probably have an American accent that includes pronouncing the "h" in "historic."

For an excellent analysis of the matter, please read Sharp Points' An Ysterical Rant? which includes a list of learned sources who think I'm right! (Bonus.)

Ah, Syntax

I just read this headline: "Bush Orders Face Reversal"

Am I the only one who read "orders" as a verb and not a noun and wondered whose face is going to be reversed? Is that the same as having your face rearranged? Or is it more like an about-face?

Visitors 2, Home Team 0

I don't even know where to start about how bad the Texans looked losing to the Ravens 41-13 today. Then, to top it off, the Dynamo, who had only lost ONE home game ALL YEAR dropped the Western Conference Semifinals to the New York Red Bulls 3-0. The Rockets play the Lakers (in LA) tonight. Come on, Rockets! I'm running out of jinx-less jerseys to don today!

10:30 PM Update: Rockets got spanked by the Lakers 111-82, and even the Aeros lost to Syracuse. :(

To LEED Gold!

Cathartic Blaze: Ur Doin It Right

To The Extreme, I Rock the Rope Like a Vandal

My kickboxing instructor had some kind of 90s remix going today. We started out jumping rope to Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby. Two things: 1) I am getting in shape enough to where I can talk while I jump rope (but only when we're jumping rope at the start of class) and 2) I still know pretty much every word to that song.

Also, today marks the first day of freedom where I really didn't know what day of the week it was. I think the holiday feel of Election Tuesday didn't help, but I was honestly perplexed when the Friday instructor walked in today, thinking I would see the Monday instructor.

It kind of waters down the impact of TGIF when every day is Saturday...

"Every Day is Saturday" coincidentally will be the name of my first country music single. Look for it on iTunes and Walmart Music later this month.

Finally, read this without crying.

Good Eats

Does anyone else see the face of Optimus Prime in my corn?

Hysteria Lane

One of my neighbors, upon learning about my lay-off, declared that we need to transform our block into Desperate Housewives. Even more hilarious: he wants to fill the role of Nicollette Sheridan's character, Edie.

13 Celsius

Thanks to everyone who came to celebrate my early retirement at 13 Celsius last night! It was a fun time, and I'm lucky to have good friends like you guys.

Fun fact: 13 Celsius is the same as 55.400000000000006 Fahrenheit. I'm thinking of opening a rival bar with this "real American" moniker. Celsius is SO pretentious.

Actually, the bar is quite cool. I liked the atmosphere a lot - the patio was perfect! The few challenges - darkness (candles are neat, but it was hard to read the extensive drink lists) and parking (but only because I'm a fat Houstonian used to oceanic expanses of parking lot.)

So cheers to all my homies!

Unyielding Hope

Yes we can. U-S-A! U-S-A!

w00t!

Si se puede!!

I would like to hug everyone in Ohio, Iowa, and New Mexico, so far... :D

HD Snooze

There used to be this incredibly pregnant lady on the Weather Channel that I would always watch late at night while I was finishing projects in school just because I thought at any moment she would go into labor on camera. Dan Rather is like that. Only I think he might actually put his head down on the news desk and not wake up - some time tonight.

Congratulations, PBS. Yours is no longer the most somber news coverage...

Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing

Saxby Chambliss?!?! Hands down my favorite name of the evening. There is no explanation for that name. It's like Anfernee Hardaway or Lastings Milledge or D'Brickshaw Ferguson. Awesome. (But I hope his opponent wins.)

Too Much Technology

Okay, now CNN's hologram correspondents are freaking me out. At least they made the Princess Leia "Help me, Obi-Wan, you're my only hope" joke within five minutes of my husband.

It's My Party

Election Day should be a national holiday.

Touchable Technology

John King's "Magic Map" makes me giggle.

What Would Thomas Jefferson Think?

Wear your "I voted" sticker today, and you can receive free stuff - Krispy Kreme donuts, Starbucks coffee and Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream! With rewards like that, how is anyone against universal health care!?!?

Closer to home, a Houston Republican party volunteer is passing out free toilet plungers to help people remember Joe the Plumber when they cast their presidential vote. Or maybe to deal with the plumbing consequences of all that free food.

RoNOT

County judge Ed Emmett just robo-called me to say he knows I must be fed up with all the automated telephone calls this campaign season. And that's when my finger accidentally slipped onto the Off button and was all like "click."

Is it Just Me?

Or does "poll worker" sound like a euphemism for "exotic dancer" which, of course, is a euphemism for "stripper."

I Promised Myself I Wasn't Going to...

... sit at home all day and watch TV coverage of "non-stories," but it's actually pretty entertaining. I just saw Sarah Palin refuse to answer the question "Who did you vote for?" and cite her right to privacy as the reason for doing so.

Just Wondering

If I were at my polling place, and a candidate I didn't plan on voting for walked in to cast his/her ballot, would I feel weird about not voting for them? I mean, it's one thing to vote next to somebody wearing an Ashish Mahendru T-shirt, but it would be something totally different actually voting next to Ashish Mahendru.

I'm Starting to Worry About Virginians

CNN is reporting that in the early morning hours, voters in Virginia waiting in line outside their polling place were rained on. When voters were given their paper ballots inside, the ballots became soaked, and the scanning machines were unable to read them. So poll officials had voters place their moist ballots into a box so they could dry out for awhile and then be scanned.

After about an hour of doing this, someone finally suggested that maybe the better approach was to DRY OFF THE VOTERS.

One Way to Get the Vote Out

During early voting, the clerk's office got a report of a woman who showed up to a polling place in west Harris County wearing an Obama T-shirt.

She was told she could cover the shirt up, turn it inside out, or not wear it. She chose not to wear it, and voted in her bra.

NH FTW!

Way to go Dixville Notch! You overcame decades of earning the ridicule your town's name invites and voted for change!!!

Election Day

I'm so excited! ... and I'm so nervous!

Mystery Solved

While you're at work all day, the cats do, in fact, just sleep.

Top Five Layoff Lessons

1. Today's technology makes it ridiculously easy to take 6.5 years of electronic files and emails home with you.

2. Workplace diversity is among the luxuries of a good economy.

3. The recycling bins in my former employer's copy room are not large enough for them to lay off more than one or two tenured employees at a time without having a negative impact on the environment.

4. If you choose to burn all your old business cards in a fire pit, use the screen, because those babies get airborne with remarkable quickness.

5. Being laid off is similar, in other people's minds, to being ejected from a fighter jet, because without exception every reply I got to my farewell emails from colleagues included the phrase "where you land."

Vacation Approved!

Indepedence Day!!!

Day One of the Next, Best Part of My Life!
(Flag and Logo designs coming soon.)

To the Dork that Stole Our Yard Sign

Every time you steal our sign, my husband gives an additional $100 to the DNC.

Every time you steal our sign, we go to the local party office and pick up 4 more, with a donation of $5 per sign.

Costume Droolery

I can't believe I just read the statement: "Use common sense when outfitting your dog for Halloween." I don't think "common" is the only type of sense lacking here.

Reading is Fundamental

Yes We Carve!

It's a Barack Olantern.
Si se talle!

My Herb and Vegetable Garden

My Day (Blogging in Excruciating Detail)

04:20 - Wake up suddenly, thinking I've heard someone talking to me. Nothing... go back to sleep.
06:37 - Husband gets out of bed. I move to the center and spread eagle.
07:30 - My alarm goes off. Alison Krauss's Broadway doesn't rouse me. Snooze #1.
07:39 - Un-snooze. Cats realize husband left and their bowls are still empty. Alarm leads them to me. Poster smells my breath and confirms I'm still alive. Gomez leans down to scratch the corner of her mouth on my motionless finger. Snooze #2.
07:48 - Tom Petty now sings at me. Cats circle my pillow and walk on my hair, now griping vociferously. I notice it's raining so I won't be walking. Better get up. Turn off Tom Petty and the alarm and turn on CNN.
07:51 - Open Diet Dr. Pepper #1. Tripped by Poster on the way to the fridge. Take vitamin. Turn on shower. Get clean towel out of the cabinet.
07:53 - Feed cats. I am apparently now invisible.
07:56 - Check email. Check Facebook, completing Jobs and adding rivals to the Hit List on Mob Wars.
08:05 - Having stared blankly at myself in the mirror, realize the shower's been on for fifteen minutes. Decide to get in it.
08:12- Soap, shampoo, conditioner, rinse. Shave places I shaved yesterday and continue to neglect to shave places that have been neglected.
08:14 - Deoderant. A few squirts of Clinique Happy. Lotion lower legs. Comb hair once or twice.
08:17 - Dress except jewelry and shoes.
08:20 - Brush teeth, change shirt. Put on jewelry and shoes. Turn off the TV.
08:21 - Grab yogurt, apple, and Diet Dr. Pepper #2 from the fridge.
08:23 - Gather briefcase, which contains catalogs and the current issue of Mental Floss.
08:24 - Answer blackberried email about past project.
08:25 - Send follow up to answer pointing out that I've answered the question before, and recently. Open door to leave. Cats are ambivalent about my departure.
08: 27 - Start Lexus Rx400h and back slowly out of driveway, heading for work.
08:48 - Arrive at work. Log in to computer. Get Puzzles section from Houston Chronicle and plastic spoon for yogurt.
08:55 - Sit in corner conference room waiting to start project meeting. Eat Activia Light Vanilla yogurt.
08:59 - Finish the Jumble. Answer here: Take a Hike.
09:02 - Finish Wordy Gurdy. 1. Hit Mitt, 2. Face Mace, 3. Glenn's Pens, 4. Pronto Tonto, 5. Larger Charger, 6. Farrow's Arrows, 7. Sterling Curling.
09:03 - Send email to meeting attendees asking where they are.
09:05 - Meeting attendees arrive.
09:12 - Finish telling them that our project is going on indefinite hold.
10:03 - Meeting ends, after we've spent 50 minutes gossiping about bosses and co-workers and discussing how to survive a recession and unemployment.
10:06 - Fix cup of Green Tea #1. Eat small Gala apple.
10:32 - Finish Sudoku.
10:41 - Finish copying recipes from this week's Food section to a Word document for my files.
10:42 - Open Diet A&W Rootbeer #1. Open LOLcats and the full family of LOL sites (including the always entertaining EngrishFunny.com.)
10:48 - Check Facebook. Receive notification from WebMarshal that MobWars is offensive material and is blocked for "Adult & Nudity." My attempt to access this site has been recorded.
10:49 - Reply to husband's email about our home phone. It isn't working and I neglected to follow through checking Interface Device last evening. I hate AT&T for making me feel at fault.
10:50 - Restroom break #1.
10:56 - Begin blogging morning's activities.
11:50 - Finished blogging morning's activities.
11:52 - Declined invitation to lawyer event in Austin. Something about Elvis.
11:53 - Forwarded photo of a 4-year-old's artwork to co-worker, at his request.
11:54 - Thunder foils my plan to go home at lunch and walk. I could hit the treadmill, but that's not holding my attention these days. Maybe it will be dry this afternoon. Wonder where to have lunch then.

12:03 - Check personal email account. Received a Komen donation!

12:06 - Restroom break #2.

12:13 - Fixed Herbal Tea #1.

12:16 - Redeemed Houston Aeros tickets for this Saturday's 3rd Annual Breast Cancer Awareness Game. We're playing the San Antonio Rampage. I hope there are lots of lipstick-smeared hockey moms to pal around with.

12:20 - Hey - is the sun coming out? Maybe I'll go home for lunch after all.

12:21 - Checked local radar. Looks clear. I should go home. Can check the phone thing, too. Sent email to husband telling him to check out my blog. Guess he won't have to ask what I did today.

12:41 - Arrived home. Cats ambivalent regarding my arrival.

12:43 - Take out trash. Salmon wrapper from Monday dinner is starting to smell.

12:46 - Change into workout clothes. Gather instructions to check AT&T Interface Device as well as scissors to snip zip tie closing the "device."

12:47 - The Interface Device at our house looks nothing like the one in the diagram. Apparently the previous owners were the first to have a phone in Houston, and AT&T hasn't upgraded our interface device since the 60s. There is not modular plug, no test jack... just a bunch of multicolored wires bunched up under a small metal case that says "Bell Phones" on it (and has to be secured with a zip tie.) I am annoyed.

12:50 - Log on to AT&T to complete the incident report, now that I've confirmed what I knew all along - that it's their system, not my house, that's the problem area. When I log on I get this message: "We are experiencing a service outage in your area. Service will be restored by 7:00 PM Thursday, October 16." Oh really? And this is the first time since September 13th you've acknowledged it? I hate AT&T. I file a trouble report anyway.

13:01 - I email my husband to express my loathing of AT&T.

13:15 - I finish emailing various customer service divisions of my phone company and begin the hunt for a replacement zip tie.

13:23 - Gave up on finding the zip tie and used string.

13:27 - Facebook again. Did some Mob Wars Jobs. 12 friends online!?! I'm not the only one with a slow job.

13:34 - Made lunch: Buddig Chicken, slice of Mild Cheddar, French's yellow mustard on Roman Meal wheat bread. Crust on. Whole. With green grapes on the side.

13:44 - Hacked husband's Facebook account and worked on his Mob Wars mobster. Opened Black Cherry Citrus Fresca #1.

13:51 - Decided to give up on walking. Change back to work clothes and headed back to office.

14:11 - Arrived back at work. Herbal Tea #2.

14:23 - Finished opening and reading personal mail.

14:30- Read Brookstone catalog.

14:34 - Read Restoration Hardware catalog. They have a lot of bed and bath linens for a hardward store.

14:42 - Read Pottery Barn catalog. Lots of drapes for a pottery store.

14:44 - Emailed husband. I like him.

14:50 - Read Title Nine catalog.

15:03 - Reviewed project draw. Requested one revision.

15:09 - Read Gaiam Living catalog. 20% off organic sweaters.

15:17 - Put down Mental Floss briefly to read chat transcript sent by husband.

15:27 - Downloaded brochure for tomorrow's event.

15:31 - Read and ignored anonymous blog comment. Fixed Herbal Tea #3.

15:36 - Ran in to moron SVP on the way to the printer. Should have known not to respond.

15:37 - Restroom break.

15:49 - Discussed employment opportunities in my company's Dubai and Calgary offices.

16:12 - Took a break from reading Mental Floss to shoot the breeze with a colleague from Central. He gave me his condolences on my doing nothing.

16:16 - Opened Diet Dr. Pepper #3.

16:47 - Still reading Mental Floss, stopped briefly to discuss the weather with a co-worker.

16:57 - Check the clock.

16:58 - Check the clock.

16:59 - Check the clock.

17:02 - Out of here!

17:23 - Arrive at home. Disappointing but maybe not surprising - there are 6 McCain Palin signs to 2 Obama Biden signs on our block. And it's not the old people with the McPalin signs.

17:27 - Slip into something more comfortable.

17:45 - Harvest two homegrown jalapenos from our garden, as it pours down rain upon me and my umbrella.

18:01 - Finish making guacamole for dinner. A little too much lime. Diet 7UP #1.

18:03 - Put the chicken on the grill. Medium heat. Black beans on the stove. Low heat.

18:11 - Facebook again. Comment on two friends' stata and add "Napalm Your Mom" to the Mob Wars hitlist for $657M.

18:16 - Turn the chicken. Sample the guacamole. Shoo the cat away from the black beans.

18:23 - Make College Football Pick 'Em picks.

18: 24 - Take chicken off the grill and plate dinner. Mmm. Open Diet 7UP #2.

18:27 - Send email to college friend, directing her to Poster Nutblog when she asks how I could be bored.

18:49 - Stand up from table. Put leftovers in tupperware and into the refrigerator. Admire husband as he prepares the dishwasher for dishwashing.

18:59 - Facebook again. Add Real Estate Tycoon application.

19:25 - Finish reading a few articles on chron.com. John Cornyn's windmill ad makes me want to barf.

19:58 - Finish reading current issue of Mental Floss. About to tune in to debate.

20:57 - This debate is painful.

21:37 - Brush teeth. Set alarm. Goodnight.

Hometown Huddle

I got to help Steve Slaton teach a PE class to kids at Youngblood Intermediate School. It was pretty awesome. The full compliment of very impressive Texans rookies was there as well, so I got autographs from the following cool dudes:

52 Adibi, Xavier
34 Barber, Dominique
76 Brown, Duane
97 Okam, Frank
20 Slaton, Steve
10 Brink, Alex
84 Jenkins, Darnell
72 Nading, Jesse

And He Shall Reign...

Every time I hear CNN refer to their "Poll of Polls" the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah immediately gets stuck in my head. Being a practicing Baptist, especially at Christmas (I love Christmas music), the only other [blank] of [blanks] I know of are King of Kings and Lord of Lords (Revelation 19:16.) So CNN's "Poll of Polls" seems a bit presumptuos to me, if not tiptoeing over onto the wrong side of blasphemous.

Nevertheless, it does make dressing for work more fun as I wander the house humming and singing "Forever! and ever! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" and pretending I can actually distinguish between the soprano and alto parts. It's like Christmas in October! Get ready for the big finish... "Ha-lle...lu...JAAAAAAH!"