No, I'm Not

Today while folding laundry I had infomercials running. I enjoy the P90X - somehow I believe I can go from average to awesome in just 90 days. The guy who sells the Mighty Putty and that fix-a-dent gadget (that in my mind is called "Pop and Lock" but I know that's not right) is way too loud these days, but since Oxy really was as good as advertised, I'll give his products the benefit of the doubt.

The latest Ron-Popeil-wannabe is the Shamwow guy, Vince Offer. I've had a Shamwow since 2004 - well before having a Shamwow has cool (and before I knew it had such a spectacular name) so I was feeling like I could trust Vince, too, even though he is clearly a pencil-necked geek with a very, very irritating voice and demeanor. Today he was hawking the Slap Chop, which is a "new and improved" version of the Quick Chop, apparently because it can be cleaned more easily. (Neither version can be cleaned more easily than my knife and cutting board, by the way.)

So anyway, Vince is riffing. He's slicing, he's dicing, he's cleaning, he's chopping again, he's actually even telling me that the Slap Chop (also incidentally a patented move from Ninja 3: The Domination, which is not a kung fu movie) is going to cure America's obesity epidemic, and I'm feelin' it, when all of the sudden Vince turns to the camera and says, "You're gonna love my nuts," then I'm pretty sure he smirked, directly at me. And I changed the channel.

Economic Haiku

when the dow hits five
thousand it is time to buy
nonperishables

How Did They Know?

Garden Pictures

Pictures of My Food

There Are No Words

This morning I was watching CNN Today and the anchor, speaking to a financial correspondent, said "How about the Dow being down 250 points today?" To which she responded, "Looks pretty bad out there," and then they cut away to commercial. Really though, what else is there to say at this point?

Important Artifacts at the Smithsonian NMAH

Raising a Navy

If I Were a President...

... I'd be Babe-raham Lincoln.

Unemployment Pic of the Week

Poor Poster Nutbag

17-pound Poster Nutbag tore her ACL somehow. My money's on "walking around on legs designed to support 8 to 9 pounds."

Her kind GrandPaul, a veterinarian, provided both the diagnosis and the cure. He had to consult the internet and a vet school professor who is at least 75 years old now because he hadn't had to do an ACL surgery on a cat in 15 or 20 years, but from what we can tell, the surgery was a success and P-Nut now has a bionic knee with nylon ligaments.

It is a good thing my dad chose to be a vet and not a groomer, because we have been having several good laughs about Poster's post-op coiffure, especially the do we call "The Lucky Rabbit's Foot." Enjoy.